Gate 5: Departing for Adulthood

One of the main reasons I considered starting this “storytelling platform” (it’s not a blog) was to share my experiences of the weird people, interesting people and some people I hope to never have to sit next to again in my life – the most memorable being the man who sniffed crushed up pills off his tray table during take off through a dollar bill. I am no pharmacist but I am about 100% sure there is not an FDA-approved instruction on any bottle that indicates this is the appropriate method of taking any pharmaceuticals, but I was young so only now am I looking back thinking  “huh, that was kind of weird”. 

And then there are the people you never expect to meet, they just provide an easy conversation to pass the time and lead to something so much greater! 

Insert Mari – a women I met on a plane back in 2007.  Yep, I see you doing the math, that is 12 years ago. Twelve years ago and I still remember an interaction with a stranger?  I do because it was what I needed at that moment that no one else could give me. It was the reassurance I wanted from someone who had no stake in the game, who had no reason to care and knew me for the quick 2 hour and 15 minute flight from Omaha to Phoenix but offered genuine, thoughtful, advice. 

I was a young 20-something coming home for a quick summer weekend – if I was a betting women I would bet it was for one of the dozens of weddings I commuted back for throughout my 20s.  These were the weekends I lived for.  I was living in Arizona at the time for about 8 weeks – yes that is not a long time but in “summer weeks” that is an eternity to be homesick for my friends and a carefree summer.  Instead of staying in Nebraska, I chose to move across the country to get experience as an intern with a world-renowned organization that I knew would be worth it long term; that is what I tend to lean towards – the responsible and practical things in life.  It’s a blessing and a curse but in my heart I was missing being careless and responsibility-free (Read As: hungover, broke and unproductive #summer2007).  Before I left for my weekend get away, my boss that was overseeing my internship asked me what I would think about coming back full-time when I graduated the next spring.  Most normal (sane) people would be ecstatic – a job offer when I don’t even have a degree, at a place I knew I loved, with people I knew I loved, doing work I knew mattered AND they were going to pay me?? Stop the non-sense. 

To be honest, I am not sure what my response was at the moment but I know that the second I got on that plane I got hit with a dose of reality that my carefree days were winding to an end and I would have to start making adult decisions and I was not amused.  I am 33 years old and I am still kind of not amused about adult decisions.  Of course, everyone I told was so encouraging and excited for me, when a part of me wanted them to question it, the same way I was in my head.  Is this what I want to do? Won’t I miss out on things? Am I even good at this? I had never lived alone in my life, let alone 2,000 miles away from the only place I had called home.  Of course after a fantastic weekend of friends, family, nostalgia and Valentino’s Grand Buffet (don’t get bamboozled into just the sit down, order off of a menu –  it HAS to be the Grand Buffet to get the full effect of it’s magesticness), I was dropped off at the airport to return back to Phoenix.  I was still at the phase in my departures from Omaha were tears were a given, even when I knew I would be back shortly. Moping in the airport, I am sure being super extra and listening to a depressing playlist on my sweet iPod, I boarded the plane hoping for some reason we couldn’t take off and I would get 12 more hours home before going back to a sampling of what could potentially be a glimpse into my post-college life.  

That’s when Mari and Phil come in.  I am not sure how we started talking, besides the fact that she was extremely outgoing. She was a mom with kids my age living in the Bay Area. Steve worked for the Fire Department there and were leaving a visit with their son who was playing baseball in Iowa for the summer.  We talked College World Series (the gem of summer in Omaha, a must see), all about their kids and what I was up to that summer. 

And that, my friends, is when I word-vomited my whole story about what I was doing, what I was offered and what I was scared of. All the things I wanted to  blurt out when I was getting congratulations, all the things that I felt ungrateful for feeling but were real concerns of mine.  Mari listened and didn’t have anything extremely profound to say, she did what moms do best, reassured to the best of her abilities hoping this complete stranger wouldn’t start crying.  We exchanged email addresses, as they came to Phoenix and told me to look them up when I was in San Francisco and they would give me tons of recommendations of things to do. We emailed back and forth after the flight and I informed Mari I took the job in Phoenix.   She wrote something that had been said before in many forms and by people who know me way better than she but for whatever reason, it stuck.  She told me what I needed to hear:

“Remember, nothing is permanent and you have to try things sometimes.  I have no doubt you will do very well.”  

The fact that a stranger could give me confidence I couldn’t give myself based on a short interaction seems silly but at that time, I needed the validation that it was scary but it was okay to be scared. 

So you are wondering what happened to Mari right??  So a couple weeks ago I sent her an email.  I debated reaching out after so long but I have learned from experience, when someone does something impactful tell them it meant something, you never know what it means to them. Clearly, if I still remember her name, there was some sort of lasting impression.  

I said I hope this isn’t out of the blue…uh besides the fact that it is indeed completely out of the blue.  She responded, and added me on Facebook and Instagram before I woke up the next morning, which is the ultimate compliment in 2019.  She did admit that when she first opened my email, she thought it was a scam, like the long lost Nigerian Prince looking for you to forward him money but as she got into the email she then remembered our conversation and was grateful after all these years her advice had resonated. She said “you knew what to do”. And I did, I knew what I needed to do, I knew what the responsible thing was and I knew that this was an opportunity that although unexpected, I had worked hard to be considered. But finding a friendly face, a smile and an ear to listen, made all the difference in me coming to that conclusion on my own.  

Lessons From Mari:

1. It’s okay to be scared, even in a decision that seems like a no brainer.  I know that sounds sophomoric in thinking but in reality, sometimes that screws with your head even more.  
2. Avoid getting teary-eyed with strangers, it weirds people out.  Oddly enough, this is not my only story of crying on a plane with someone I just met… but for that you will have to wait.